Dying Well: Part 1
July 21, 2024 (Also do Healing Service and There is Balm)
Matthew 16:21-23; John 14: 1-4, 27
This is the first in a two part series on Dying Well. Next week Lori will be sharing her story of Dying well.
A number of years ago I read about Cardinal Joseph Bernadin, the former archbishop of the Roman Catholic Church of Chicago. He shared his story of how he was able to be faithful in the farewell time of his life. I’m going to do a lot of sharing from him this morning.
Bernadin said, “Since I discovered I had cancer I have shared the news about my health as it has been made known to me. My decision to discuss my cancer openly and honestly has sent a message that when we are ill; we need not close in ourselves or remove ourselves from others. Instead, it’s during these times when we need people the most.
Faith really matters. By being grounded in the Lord, by opening myself to His will, I have been able to accept my illness and now my impending death. By embracing the pain, by looking into it and beyond it, I have come to see God’s presence in even the worst situations.”
Our Scripture today finds Jesus saying the following words:
“I must go to Jerusalem. There the nation’s leaders, the chief priests and the teachers of the Law of Moses will make me suffer terribly. I will be killed.”
Talking about death is difficult. Most of us spend our whole lives trying to avoid it. Morbid talk is bad talk. Death is just too painful a topic, especially when it involves someone close to us or us. When someone else brings up the subject we sometimes react in defensiveness or anger. Like Peter did.
Peter took Jesus aside and told him to stop talking like that. Peter said, “God would never let this happen to you Jesus.”
Jesus turned to Peter and said, “Satan, get away from me. You’re in my way because you think like everyone else and not like God.”
The first lesson we hear from both Jesus and Bernadin is: Be open and honest about death.
One way to be open and honest about death is by putting together a living will with directives about how you want to be treated as you are dying. I wonder how many of you have living wills, not just wills, but living wills?
One of the documents I’ve found helpful is called Five Wishes. I encourage you to fill out that form or any similar one. I put a copy on the table going to the Furman Room.
Let’s listen to Cardinal Bernadin continue sharing about other lessons he has learned, “Following my first round of chemotherapy and radiation treatments, I told my advisors that I now had a new priority in my ministry: spending time with the sick and the troubled. One of the things I noticed about illness is that it draws you inside yourself.
When we are ill, we tend to focus on our own pain and suffering. We may feel sorry for ourselves or become depressed. But by focusing on Jesus’ message – that through suffering we empty ourselves and are filled with God’s grace and love – we can begin to think of other people and their needs; we become eager to walk with them in their trials.
While I was preparing for more treatments, cancer patients and others suffering from serious diseases called to let me know they were praying for me and they asked that I pray for them. Soon I was making phone calls and writing letters to many.”
The lesson is that the last days of our lives can be a final flowering. Facing death can be the catalyst to do and be what we’ve always wanted to or know we should do. It can be the beginning or the final culmination of some special ministry.”
The second lesson is to let our last days be a time of reaching out to others.
Bernadin goes on to talk about the third lesson. “Throughout my spiritual journey, I have struggled to become closer to God. One theme rises to the surface more than any other and takes on new meaning for me now – the theme of letting go. Letting go is never easy. I have prayed and struggled constantly to be able to let go of things more willingly, to be free of everything that interferes with my surrender to what God asks of me.
It is clear that God wants me to let go now. But there is something in us humans that makes us want to hold onto ourselves and everything and everybody familiar to us. My daily prayer is that I can open wide the doors of my heart to Jesus and his expectations of me.”
The third lesson is letting go.
We’re on a journey from here to heaven. It’s a good rule of journeying to travel lightly.
Listen to Jesus in John’s gospel when he says: “Don’t be worried! Have faith in God and have faith in me. There are many rooms in God’s house. I wouldn’t tell you think, unless it was true. I’m going to prepare a place for each of you. After I have done this, I will come back and take you with me. Then we will be together.”
Our Scripture quotes Jesus as telling his disciples he is preparing a place for us in heaven. Then he will come back and take us to God. Someday, each of us will be moving to a different residence. That new home will be completely furnished. We think our homes are nice; just wait till we get to heaven! We won’t need to take anything with us to this house, so we might as well begin to give it up now.
The fourth lesson Bernadin talked about is going in peace.
Unfortunately, going in peace is much more difficult to do today as a result of our medical technology. Doctors and other medical staff often encourage us to fight till the last breath.
On the other hand, I’ve seen how helpful that Hospice can be for dying people and their families in the final stage of life. It is designed to help the person live at home or in the most comfortable setting for as long as possible.
I’ve found the staff of different Hospices I’ve been associated with to be excellent at providing comfort and support for both patient and family. This often involves spiritual counseling as well. Hospice also uses another tool to help us go in peace: pain management. We have the technology these days to cut out most of the pain that is involved in the dying process.
Another aspect of going in peace has to do with our relationships with others. It’s a time to look again at all the significant relationships in our lives and do what we can to bring healing and forgiveness. It’s a time to come together and be more open and honest with our loved ones. To express to them how important they have been to us. To thank them. To tell them how much we love them. And then at some point to say goodbye and let them go. Sometimes, those of us who are healthy, tend to want to avoid the sick and the dying. But that is not the time to turn away. Instead, it’s the time to draw closer so they can go in peace.
Bernadin talked about his response after he received the news that his cancer which had been in remission, had returned and would not be stopped. He said, “Instead of being immobilized, I began to prepare myself. I discussed my condition with family and friends. I prayed as I’ve never prayed before that I would have the courage and the grace to face whatever lay ahead. Blessedly, a peace of mind and heart and soul quietly flooded through my entire being, a kind of peace I had never known before. And I came to believe in a new way that the Lord would walk with me through this journey of illness that would take me from a former way of life into a new manner of living.”
Jesus told his disciples: ‘I give you peace, the kind of peace that only I can give. It’s not like the peace the world gives. So don’t be worried or afraid.’
Two weeks before Cardinal Bernadin passed away, he said, “As I write these final words, my heart is filled with joy. I am at peace.
It’s the first day of November and fall is giving way to winter. Soon the trees will lose the vibrant colors of their leaves and snow will cover the ground. The earth will shut down and people will race to and from their destinations bundled up for warmth. It’s a time of dying. But we know that spring will soon come with all its new life and wonder. It’s clear that I will not be alive in the spring. But I will soon experience new life in a different way. Although I do not know what to expect in the afterlife, I do know that just as God has called me to serve him to the best of my ability throughout my life on earth, he is now calling me home.
What I would like to leave behind is a simple prayer that each of you may find what I have found – God’s special gift to us all. The gift of peace. When we are at peace, we find the freedom to be most fully who we are, even in the worst of times. We let go of what is nonessential and embrace what is essential. We empty ourselves so that God may more fully work within us. And we become instruments in the hands of the Lord.”
That is my prayer for you this morning as well – that all of us experience and live in that peace that only God can bring.
SPECIAL MUSIC!
